Tobago in solitude

I decided I need some hard-core relaxation (is that a thing?) stat, so I arranged to visit Tobago this week. Alone. This is my first time vacationing solo, but I really just felt the need for some solitude. I staying somewhere safe, taking reasonable precautions ... It's all good, I swear. Anyway, I'm staying at Kariwak Village. My standards have changed since living at St. Dominic's, because I'm super ecstatic over hot water, a decent mattress, and wifi in my room. Don't get me wrong. I love interning at St. Dominic's, but the accommodations aren't what I was used to back home. So this is a nice luxury, to have those things back for a few days. Before I gush more about Kariwak, let me tell you how I felt flying over from Trinidad. ... Well, I'd LIKE to tell you, but I can't quite articulate it. I didn't feel giddy or high on life. But there was a sense of freedom I've never experienced. Flying over the green mountains, then seeing the shoreline of Trinidad, then the open water blending into the sky, soaring in the white, fluffy clouds ... I just felt like I was finally "in charge" of my life. In a "by the grace of God" kind of way, of course. I've often found myself hating being a woman due to the limitations I feel, as for not always feeling safe in the world. And while I will certainly take those precautions I mentioned because I AM a woman travelling alone for a few days ... it's so empowering to believe in my own competence enough to take the risk and just do it. I started thinking, while that plane was in the air, about how all the pain in my life has fueled my determination to transmute the trauma and tragedies in my life into something that can help me and, with this new career in social work, help others. Up in those clouds, I felt more grounded or centered or whatever you want to call it than ever before. Reading back through this, it doesn't adequately explain ... but whatever. I hope you get the gist.

But back to Kariwak. Rather than describe, I'll just post a few pictures. I will add that the live band performing tonight did a reggae version of Knockin' on Heaven's Door that was cool but completely confused me. Also, when I was soaking in the waterfall jacuzzi, I kept moving around to different vantage points trying to figure out which angle had the best view. Quite a problem to have, ent? After I dragged myself out of the water, I relaxed in a hammock for a bit. I realized I was more blissed-out than ever. Lots of firsts today. Again, not a high exactly, as it was calmer, more serene. There was no intensity, which is rare for me, as usually every emotion I feel is amps to 11. I'm just ... good. Oh, and I don't want to leave. Ever. Never, ever, ever, ever. ... Now the pics, no captions, as they're all at Kariwak.